It has been on my mind.

4 Nov

Good ‘ole Cecil said this in his opening address at the beginning of this semester.

“I worry particularly about demeaning comments made about the career or major choices of women or men either diectly or about members of the BYU community generally.  We must remember that personal agency is a fundamental principle and  that none of us has the right or option to criticize the lawful choices of another.  Please read “The Family: a Proclamation to the World” carefully and be sure that you are not misinterpreting or misrepresenting the words of the prophets or injecting your own bias or preferences”

I knew there was a reason I liked President Samuelson so much. bravo Cecil. Bravo.

“Personal agency is a fundamental principle and…none of us has the right or option to criticize the lawful choices of another.”

Everyone has different things they are supposed to do, and different ways to do them.  We should not, and according to President Samuelson, do not even have the ‘option’ to look down on people for the choices they make in their lives.  For some men and women the right thing to do is stay at home with their children.  For some men and women, the right thing to do is to achieve a steady and successful career.  There is no “one-size-fits-all” role for any of us.  It is important that we prayerfully ask and find out what will be the best thing for US.  For ourselves and our families.  Understand that what is best for you may not be the same thing that is best for the people around you.  But don’t let that stop you.

A friend who I respect and admire more than I can even explain has shared some of their own thoughts about the subject with me in an e-mail conversation.  I particularly appreciate discussing such things with them because they know that their future should be very different from what I think mine will be, and that is ok.  It means a lot to both of us that “we can treat each other as equals and recognize that we can go two different ways from the same really spiritual ideas.”  We know that “motherhood is more than folding laundry and making fishsticks (and I add here that fatherhood is more than going to work from 8-5 and mowing the lawn) and anyone that thinks it can only be done in one, single way has important things to work on.”

Look around you.  There are infinite ways to be successful in life.

I am grateful that the people in my life right now are teaching me how to find that right life for me.  They let me know that it is my choice.  Not what the BYU norm is, not what I am expected to do,  and not even what I always thought my life was going to be.  My life plans are changing…and fast.  But it is ok, because I have a roommate who wakes me up for school, a best friend who sends me journals because she knows that my sanity is directly related to my possession of blank pages to fill, TOM party companions who give me nothing but support, laughter and chocolate, and an Evan who looks at me with the same look he has when he is singing or directing music…except even better.


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