19 going on 20

14 Oct

The concept of aging is a big deal to me. In my family, because of Alan and the nature of DMD, every single day is cherished with extra zeal. We have to live like that. Every year seems to take on more and more importance as we move through them. So because of this, I feel a little more sensitive to passing time. I know that every year I grow older, so does my little bro. And that is kinda scary.


I rationalize that this is maybe why I have so much reluctance in growing up. I want to do big girl things, like save all of the whales and the tigers and the starving dogs and ALL of the animals, and, while I’m at it, maybe the whole planet too. I mean, why not. Yet, and this is a giant yet, some part of me simply refuses to mature. I do not want to let go of the things important to me in my little girlhood, mainly because my tender fingertip grip on the past is all I have stopping me from a reckless catapult into the future.


This is why I still:


own and actively use a bright blue yo-yo

have a slinky on my desk

clash colors basically every day of my life

take naps

giggle in the presence of puppies

doodle like a fiend (a gentleman in my Media&Soc class told me I have awesome skills. I almost cried with joy)

brood when I don’t want to do something (ie, the paper I should be writing right now)

don’t make my bed

have the naive theory that world peace is quickly attainable

avoid laundry until I am down to Halloween socks and spandex

believe unicorns to be plausible organisms. Give a narwhal enough time to evolve…

chew bubblegum instead of grown up Wrigley’s. I like blowing bubbles

insist that everything tastes better through a loopy straw


I’m 19 going on 20. And that is so young in the grand scheme of things. So why does my body feel so old? Why does my mind feel like it hasn’t had enough time to adapt to the world yet?


I have some growing up to do before I can expect any kind of credibility or legitimacy. But I would certainly not mind if adult Elisabeth kept that childlike wonder for the intricacies of people, places, and the planet. And puppies. And all things that start with the letter p. And, I guess all things that start with other letters too. I would not mind if adult Elisabeth kept the yo-yo either.




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