Archive | January, 2010

You forgot the ps as the end of your letter!

29 Jan

Tell your mailman that if he does not comply with your wishes, he will have to face the Ranger/my mother double team. This is a formidable force here. He doesn’t want to mess with this.


A letter of complaint

28 Jan

Dear Mailman, 

If you don’t have anything for me…please don’t come at all.  



BYU Police Beat

27 Jan

I really love BYU. For many many reasons. But BYU Police Beat is definitely high up on the list. 

Let me share with you some gems from today’s reports of the serious events our ever vigilant officers deal with 

Jan 17–A TV was left on in the bookstore, causing a nuisance to a sunday school sclass in the WSC.  The TV was turned off. 

Jan 14–Fourteen theft cases were solved when two students confronted a male carrying books in the JRCB.  They asked his name, reported it to police, and police contacted the individual.  After an interview the suspect admitted to the crime and police recovered 15 text books and a stuffed penguin. 

                 a stuffed penguin. 

Jan 14–A female reported the theft of her blackberry phone from the CANC.  She logged into her phone account and tracked her phone via staellite; the image showed the phone was in Helamon Halls.  The phone was located inside the boot she was wearing. 

                  inside her boot. 

And here is the most serious of all…..

Jan 20–Over the past several weeks, an unknown suspect has been stealing linches from the lunchroom fridge in the Hinckley center. 

Honestly, I don’t feel that any further comment is necessary. 

Ah...a fearless officer. Find the lunch stealer!

Jock status

27 Jan

I think athletics are beautiful. Well, maybe not the sweaty, bloody, pukey aspect – that is definitely not pretty. Athletics are just so…awesome.

I am going to sound like a major jock in this post. Like, big time, aerobically obsessed, protein concerned, weight lifting jock…..and, though I may be in denial and try to deny it, that is pretty much me.

I love sports. I have participated in various athletic pursuits since I was a little girl. I was six when I joined my first soccer team and I was ten when I joined my first track team. Now, I am almost nineteen. I have run track and cross country consistently every summer, fall, winter, and spring. I have been in countless road races. I swam on three different teams. I joined the ABA and raced my BMX bike in a local league. I went back to my roots and played soccer in my senior year of  high school. I even wrestled  in eight grade. Currently, I row at U of Cincinnati. I have eleven varsity letters. I have medals. I have competed nationally. I have a handful of USATF state and regional titles. I have a door covered with race numbers and hip numbers.

What is all of that? A crazy compulsion? Probably. But it’s also something more than that. Like I said, athletics are beautiful. They teach you about everything that exists inside of you. Everything. Every muscle filament. Every bone. Every tendon. Every inch of connective tissue. You learn exactly what to do in order to maximize the potential of every piece of your body. And this process can be painful! Working out hurts! All the time, my mind tells me go go go. And my body tells me, straight up, NO. That contradiction leads to suffering, but to be great, it is a necessary evil.

The net potential of your body is important, but the thing that makes athletics most beautiful is what they teach you about your mind. What is in your brain? What is in your heart? What tells you to persist? What part of you is able to take doubt and swallow it whole? Where do things like motivation and inspiration come from?

Here are five of the things I have learned over the years; I feel like they are some important life lessons:

  1. Losing sucks. Winning is good. I celebrate in victory, and alternately, I berate myself in mediocrity.
  2. Sometimes, it feels like everything in the world is saying “Quit. Give up. Stop.” But this I know is true. Somewhere, inside or outside, someone is saying “Keep going. Never give up. You got this.” It is so true. Listen to this voice and drown everything else out.
  3. Do not be afraid to be powerful or strong. You are not average.
  4. You have God-given talent. Use it to its full potential. What a waste, to throw away something that plenty of people would give anything to have. That is not commendable.
  5. Everything, every day.

Athletics are a part of my life. They have given me the refuse to quit mindset that I believe is essential to success. Eternal thanks to my parents for getting me involved in all of these activities. They have always always always been there, cheering for me, telling me I can. It is an amazing gift that they have given me. And finally, I cannot possibly take credit for all of that stuff in paragraph three. That is my brother’s doing. Without Alan, I would have no success. No greater motivation or inspiration exists for me. When my mind fails, all that is left is my little bro, always telling me that quitting is simply not an option. Thanks Mom and Pop! And thank you Alan – know that everything is always for you.

This makes me want to go out and run! Everything, every day!

Thought regarding Grandma’s house

25 Jan

I love my Grandma’s house. More than almost anything else in the world. Let me give you the cast list. 

Grandma=I hope I am like my beautiful Grandma when I grow all the way up.  I hope I make as yummy cookies, have as beautiful a smile, have as sweet a voice, have as loving a hug.  I love hanging out with her and hearing stories of her past. 

Grandpa= The highlight of my day is walking into the upstairs kitchen from the cold outside and hearing my Grandpa’s booming voice call out “Doll Facey!” He makes everyone around him smile.  He knows great literature like the back of his hand and can talk about Steinbeck and Twain all day long (I know this from experience).  He serves and laughs and cares about everyone. 

Aunt Rees, Uncle Kevin, Micalyn, Perker, Jocelyn= Aunt Rees is a hoot! I love her! She has a personality like my mommy and she is drop dead gorgeous. Not to mention her super hot dance moves.  Uncle Kevin is ever stylish and always has a joke or 50 to share with the family.  Micalyn was ‘my’ little cousin.  She was my first babysitting job, and I loved to push her on the swing when she was a little girl. 

Aunt Kristen, Uncle Chris, Camrin, Camille, Caison, Claira=Aunt Kristen shares my passion for the food network, and has the eyelashes of a goddess. (interested in having such eyelashes yourself? check it at Uncle Chris is handy to liven up any sports event (and I mean LIVEN up).  

Aunt Hanaleigh, Uncle Richard, Chase, Payton=Aunt Hanaleigh is totally gorgeous.  She is stylish, HILARIOUS, talented and such a wonderful woman. Uncle Richard has a sense of humor all his own.  Chase is going to be famous one day very soon, and Payton is gonna be a HEART BREAKER when he gets older.  These people made my day and I will be  forever grateful for their willingness to pick me up and drop me off! Honestly! I was sinking into depression at the thought of being stuck in my apartment today.  I love you guys so much!

Spencer and Katie=I have always looked up to Spencer.  I remember playing night games with the cousins, and he pretended not to see me behind the big tree and let me win. I never forgot that. He was always so cool and so nice to me! Now he has a beautiful wife–Katie–and she is perfect! Hilarious, and the queen of mario kart. Honestly.  I am so happy she is part of our family now! 

                        ~*~Latisha and Paige are far away…but they know how much I love them. 

Cousin David=No matter how many intelligent people I meet, he will always be the most intelligent. He is one of those people that everyone wants to be like.  I meet random people on campus who put me on their ‘cool’ list when they find out he is my cousin. I remember one Thanksgiving, he abruptly turned to me and said “Annette–I have come to the conclusion that you are a not quite a Heidi, and not quite a Megan, but rather a mix of both”  I still consider that one of the nicest compliments I have ever gotten in my life. 

Uncle Troy=I always liked my uncle Troy.  He is a thoughtful guy with adorable little kids and a totally awesome job.  

Aunt Cathy, Alex, Avery, and Zachary=Aunt Cathy is one of the hardest workers I have ever met.  She is super nice and totally funny.  Her kids are smart little cookies, and Zachary is quite a proficient Mario Kart player. 

I am sorry this post is kind of long. Bravo if you read the whole thing, but I love my family so much.  I feel so happy at family gatherings and I wish I had a working car if only to get me to that house on main street I love so much full of the people that make my life one of such pleasantness. 

In the basement...Mario-ing it up.


300 things, give or take

24 Jan

“Step out onto the Planet.
Draw a circle a hundred feet round.
Inside the circle are 300 things nobody understands, and , maybe, nobody’s ever really seen.
How many can you find?”

-Lew Welch,  1964

This is a great tiny poem by Lew Welch, one of the great West Coast Beat writers. Its pretty cool. It describes a world where people are not only surrounded by the unknown, but are also imposed upon by it. Sometimes, it feels like the things I don’t understand are staring at me down, Old West style, trying to make me feel inadequate or dumb.  But slowly, I’m realizing this. Unexplainable things exist! And they aren’t there to make me feel like a lame-o; they are there for me to figure out. It’s pursuing knowledge – in the track world, this  would be akin to steeplechase. An extended event, very interesting, and definitely treacherous (see my Epic Water Hazard Fail of 2006).

I think the first step to winning this race (I REALLY like winning. Like…REALLY) is identifying things I intend on figuring out, but I am not afraid to admit I do not understand. Here is an abbreviated list:

Model UN Procedure
Ringback tones
Joseph Conrad
“Howl” by Allen Ginsberg
90% of all things Calculus
Symbolic Interactionism
Cuss words
Tattoos on parts of the body that invariably stretch or sag with age
Tattoos on the face
Where Bigfoot resides today
The Aurora Borealis
How to save Asiatic Black Bears
Nipple piercings
How Fox News scored legitimacy
Why the word “tour” is pronounced like “2-oar” and not like “Thor”
The mechanical workings of automobiles
Free Masons

How anyone could deem this activity safe:

“Sumerians look on in confusion as God creates the world”

23 Jan

Please don’t think I am blasphemous…I am just learning about the Sumerians in History 201 and found this a little interesting because of the overlapping timeline issue…but mostly freakin hilarious.

Who am I kidding…you are not going to go to that URL. I’ll just post the article. 

According to recently excavated clay tablets inscribed with cuneiform script, thousands of Sumerians—the first humans to establish systems of writing, agriculture, and government—were working on their sophisticated irrigation systems when the Father of All Creation reached down from the ether and blew the divine spirit of life into their thriving civilization.

“I do not understand,” reads an ancient line of pictographs depicting the sun, the moon, water, and a Sumerian who appears to be scratching his head. “A booming voice is saying, ‘Let there be light,’ but there is already light. It is saying, ‘Let the earth bring forth grass,’ but I am already standing on grass.”

“Everything is here already,” the pictograph continues. “We do not need more stars.”

Historians believe that, immediately following the biblical event, Sumerian witnesses returned to the city of Eridu, a bustling metropolis built 1,500 years before God called for the appearance of dry land, to discuss the new development. According to records, Sumerian farmers, priests, and civic administrators were not only befuddled, but also took issue with the face of God moving across the water, saying that He scared away those who were traveling to Mesopotamia to participate in their vast and intricate trade system.

Moreover, the Sumerians were taken aback by the creation of the same animals and herb-yielding seeds that they had been domesticating and cultivating for hundreds of generations.

“The Sumerian people must have found God’s making of heaven and earth in the middle of their well-established society to be more of an annoyance than anything else,” said Paul Helund, ancient history professor at Cornell University. “If what the pictographs indicate are true, His loud voice interrupted their ancient prayer rituals for an entire week.”

According to the cuneiform tablets, Sumerians found God’s most puzzling act to be the creation from dust of the first two human beings.

“These two people made in his image do not know how to communicate, lack skills in both mathematics and farming, and have the intellectual capacity of an infant,” one Sumerian philosopher wrote. “They must be the creation of a complete idiot.” 

heh. That right there is funny. 

On an ENTIRELY different note, this is also funny: 

I am actually kinda stoked

22 Jan

Ahhh…Friday night.  Friday night is like the Neverland of college life–no worries, concerns, or responsibilities and you can do whatever you want. 

I am a 19 year young women, smokin hot and as single as they come, who finds herself at Brigham Young University.  Opportunities are truly endless.  

So…what is Annette going to do this evening? Attend a play at the HFAC? Hit up the Loft? Dollar movies? Go out to dinner? 

No no…This evening I have much bigger plans. 

I am going to give my apartment a scrub down, the likes of which no one has ever seen before. That’s right bathtub…prepare yourself. 

And then I am going to read Ender’s Game, and go to sleep by 9. 

oh sweet, sweet sleep.

How rad

21 Jan

Concealed Identity, True Colors Suppressed

I saw this picture and I was like. Yes. We definitely would have done that.

This is a cool painting by this totally rad gal named Leah Tinari. This is her website. She creates paintings like this using acrylic and gouache on canvas. The images are inspired by old school photographs (you know, the ones that had to be put on something mysterious known as film and where then developed) that, without the option of digital delete, are developed but deemed undesirable. Check out her other paintings – they are definitely awesome.

Didn’t see that coming.

21 Jan

Was anyone else a smidgeon surprised?